James J. Holden

 

James J. Holden is a graduate of Valley Forge Christian College.  He has contributed to such men’s magazines as New Man Magazine and Prodigal Magazine.  He recently founded James J. Holden Ministries L.LC.   He writes a monthly article for the Assemblies of God National Men’s Ministry Website.

     “Allow me to tell you why I started NOTYOURDADMINISTRIES.COM.  I have a deep desire inside to minister to men.  I long to see men break free of the pain in their hearts because of abuse in their lives.  SO many men have no idea what it means to be a godly man because they grew up without a father or the father they had was not a good example of a godly man.  I want to teach them what God has taught me about dealing with the inner pain in their hearts and becoming the man God wants them to be.
 

     The purpose of this sight is to teach men what it is to be a godly man and give the help needed to achieve this goal.  Men need to know they have a Heavenly Father who loves them and wants them to be His sons. 

 

      Let me tell you about the time I became aware of the need for this type of ministry.  A few years ago, I was sitting in front of the tv, watching a popular show.  It had been a long, stressful day and I just wanted to sit down and let my brain wind down.  However, this was not going to happen.  My mind began working overtime as I was drawn into the story line.

     One of the characters, a young man in his early twenty’s, was just days away from the birth of his first child.  He was constantly asking questions and seeking advice from his boss, a man who really didn’t want this young man bothering him.

       As the show progressed, the young man revealed that when he was ten years old, his father left him.  Since his father had left no forwarding address, he figured he didn’t want to be found.  Now, facing the birth of twin sons, he found himself terrified at the thought of being a father.  He had no where to turn for advice and support, and he wanted to be a better father to his kids than his dad was to him.

      As I watched, I felt  my heart  break into a thousand pieces.  I knew the pain this young man was feeling.  I, too, have a father who has left me fearful and unprepared for life as a man.  I remembered the pain of my father telling me that I could never succeed as a writer.  I remembered the sense of fear and hopeless as I licked my wounds from the latest round of verbal and emotional beatings from him.  I recognized the feelings of hopelessness and pain that this young man felt, wondering if I was doomed to repeat his same mistakes.

 

      Like the young man, I had reached out many times to other men in hope of support, advice, encouragement and love.  Like him, I had been denied help by men who just didn’t want to be bothered.   A few men tried to give me  help along the way, but the distance between us prevented me from being discipled by them.  I so desired for a man to help me through these tough issues, but there was no one to reach out to and tell me everything would be okay.  Thankfully, God did provided me with a godly mother to help me through these times.  I am extremely grateful to God for giving her to me and the influence she has had on my life.  However, there were times when it would have been more comfortable talking about certain things with a man.
 

      As the show reached its conclusion, I wanted to just sit there and cry for the young man.  I know it was only a tv show, but I longed to reach out, take him in my arms, and comfort him.  Then I wanted to help him work through the grief and pain he was facing and let him know he wasn’t doomed to repeat his dad’s failure.  I wanted to let him know  everything would be alright and  I would help him through his worries and fears.  I never want another man to have to face the hurts and pain of both a father’s rejection and the rejection of other Christian men who turned away from me in my hour of need.
 

       It was at this moment that I felt God speak to my heart.  He said, “This is only a tenth of the hurt and pain I feel every moment as I look at the faces of My men who feel alone and abandoned by their fathers.  I long to be their Father, and I long for My children to rise up and be a father to these men.”
 

     That’s when it hit me.  This was my calling in life.  Everything that I have gone through has not been a waste.  None of the pain, the heartache, not even a single tear was wasted.  God can use all of the hurt and pain to help  another young man who is dying inside from the emotional pain of their childhood.  I am the child of a loving Heavenly Father.  As His son, it is my duty  to share this same love with other men who have never felt a father’s love. 
 

     This website is a way of doing this.  There are so many men who have gone through the things that I have faced in my life.  Like me, they long for a man to reach out and love them.  They want someone who can teach them how to get rid of all the garbage in their lives and help them become the strong, godly men they have the potential to be.  Granted, they could work it out on their own, but why should they have to when I have already gone through it and am still working through to the other side?

 

      Let’s face it.  Our world is full of young men who either have no father or who have father’s who are bad role-model of a man.  We are surrounded by abused men who are wounded and bleeding from the pain in their hearts.  These men are full of potential.  They can all be used mightily by God.  All they need is to work through the hurts and emotional pain from their past.  They need instruction on how to break free of the things that hold  them bound.  They need help them stop going down the destructive path they are on and to point them toward God and His loving arms.   God did this in my life, and I want to see men experience the same freedom in God I have experienced.

      I hope you have caught the passion I have for men’s ministry and this website.  I also hope you will continue to come back and read the new articles as we all go down the path to becoming God’s men.”    -James J, Holden