Having sex with anyone who is not your married partner is sin against God.  I can’t put it any more bluntly.  Whether it is pre-marital sex or an affair, it is sin.  It goes against God’s perfect design of sex being only between a husband and wife.  This is God’s order for family life.  To have pre-marital sex or an affair is to be anti-family and anti-God. As men, we have a responsibility to stay sexually pure. 

 

There is more to being sexually pure than not actually having sex.  Jesus says

in Matthew 5:27-28:

 

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

 

Many men see this as an impossible standard.  They feel they have a right to look at a pretty girl and fantasize about her.  However, Jesus makes it clear.  You don’t.  If we look at a woman lustfully, if we fantasize about a woman, if we masturbate, it is sin against God.  There is no way around it.  That is God’s rule.  The good news is that we have examples in life that show us that sexual purity can be done.  Like Joseph, we can refuse to sin against God and give into sexual sin.

 

The third reason Joseph was able to refuse Mrs. Potiphars’ advances was that he did not want to destroy God’s reputation.  It says clearly in the passage that God is responsible for Joseph’s success.  He knew it.  Potiphar knew it.  If he committed this outrageous sin, he would have taken this praise away from God.  Potiphar would have thought he was just like all other men. He would no longer have recognized that Joseph’s God made people different.

 

2.   We must resist the opportunities to sin

 

Even after he refused Mrs. Potiphar's advances, it was not smooth sailing for Joseph.  Why?  She was a very persistent woman. As we examine the Scripture we read:

 

So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her.

 

This is an important lesson to learn not only about sexual temptation, but all temptation; we are more vulnerable for an attack after we have successfully resisted the previous attack.  Joseph had just taken a stand for righteousness and integrity.  Satan doesn’t like that and will come at us harder than before.  That is why it is important to always be aware that at any given moment we are vulnerable to temptation.   Everything inside of us is programmed to give into sin.  It is what is natural to us.    Through the power of God and the willingness on our part to fight, we can be free to be a holy, pure man of integrity.

 

There is a basic truth we need to understand.  As a Christian, there are two forces trying to kill us.   They want to destroy everything about us.  Satan wants to completely destroy our lives, our relationships, basically everything we have.  His goal is to kill us and have us spend eternity in hell with him and his demons.   

 

God is also out to kill us.  However, He is doing it for our good.   His purpose is to go after the sinful behavior & tendencies living inside each one of us, whether taught or inherited, so that we become like Jesus.  He doesn’t want sin ruling us.  He knows we are fallen, sinful men, and wants His very best for us in life just like He wanted for Joseph.  This is why God allows temptation to attack us.  Satan tempts us to destroy us, but God allows it so we can fight and overcome and become like Jesus. 

 

It is important for us to realize that we can fall at any time. We must use this information to prepare ourselves so when the attack comes, we can fight back and overcome. 

This principle is in the story of Joseph.  Joseph’s victory over sexual temptation with Mrs. Potiphar could have made him become proud, but it didn’t.  He realized his victory was only because of God.   

 

Can you imagine how hard this was for Joseph as he everyday refused her advances?   He was a young man.  He was a virgin.  He was far away from his family and friends.  He was lonely.  He felt rejected.  His older brothers had just sold him as a slave.  He had sexual desires.  He could have very easily found comfort in the arms of this more-than-willing woman.  Yet he didn’t.  How did he do it?

 

He stayed away from her.  He didn’t let himself get caught in any situation where the temptation could get to him.  Let’s look at the passage:

 

So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her.

 

Not only did Joseph refuse to sleep with her, but he refused to even be around her.  He knew the limits of his strength and ability to resist her.  He knew that he would need a battle plan.  This is also true for us. We need to take action and draw up a personal plan before the temptation ever occurs. 

 

The first step in Joseph’s plan was to identify his area of weakness and take steps to overcome them.  He refused to be alone in the same room with her.   This is key to overcoming sexual temptation.  We need to stop and analyze what things are temptations for us.  We must study ourselves and identify the areas that are vulnerable to attack.     

After we identify our weaknesses, we need to think of ways to overcome them.  There is no weakness that can’t be conquered.  God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.  Find a solution.  If watching sensual tv or movies is a problem take action.  One way I have found to do this is through the v-chip.  It isn’t just for kids.  In our home, we block out any tv that is rated higher than PG. Have someone else take charge of the pass code.  If you don’t know it, you can’t use it.  If the internet is your problem, buy the bsafe program that not only blocks porn but also informs your accountability partner of exactly what you are viewing.  Every problem has a solution if we will take the time to study ourselves and prepare ahead of time.

 

One way to avoid temptation is to never be alone with a woman.  This reminds me of something I once heard about Rev. Billy Graham.  He will not be alone with a woman.  He won’t even ride an elevator alone with a woman.  He doesn’t want to give any room for gossip or accusations that can destroy him, his marriage, and his ministry.   It is a great rule of thumb not to be alone with someone who may tempt you.  Don’t even give Satan a chance to get you.  If you are a married man, you should not allow yourself to be alone with another woman. 

 

For all the single guys reading this book, when dating we must be careful not to put ourselves into situations where our guard may drop.  Don’t go to secluded places to talk like a hilltop overlooking a panoramic view. Don’t go park somewhere alone to talk.  Don’t go to each other’s residences and be alone in the house.  There are plenty of ways to date and be among people.  You can go to a restaurant and have a good conversation.  You can go for a walk and talk.  The old clique’ date of sitting on a front porch talking is safe.  You can be alone and still be out among people. Be creative.  It will protect you and your date.  This keeps away any hint of temptation.   

     

We have learned from Joseph how to refuse to sin sexually. We learned how to create a battle plan ahead of time to resist opportunities to sin. Now we see the third lesson.  When we are face to face with sexual temptations, RUN LIKE A TRACK STAR ON STEROIDS!

3. We must run away from temptation

 

 But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men

of the house was inside,  that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her

hand, and fled and ran outside.